Confidence

Confidence is a funny thing.

So many women who come to me for coaching cite a lack of confidence as one of the main things that holds them back from achieving what they want.

And yet when we explore a bit further, they can all remember times when they have enjoyed feeling supremely confident. Years ago, I read somewhere about the idea of setting up a Game Plan so that you can replicate some of the tiny distinctions that help you, in your own unique way, feel ready to take on the world.

I’ve explored this with hundreds of delegates over the years and it’s amazing how a) there are lots of common themes and also b) how individual the details can be!

So over to you.
Think about a time at work when you felt that you delivered a fantastic presentation. You knew your stuff inside-out, you were able to engage the audience and you really enjoyed the actual delivery.
And now start to think about the things that were in place beforehand that you might not have consciously registered. If, for example, the meeting was at a client’s offices, had you had a good night’s sleep beforehand, been for a run in the morning, left well ahead of time so that you had no stress on the journey, washed your hair, put on some clothes that make you feel smart and empowered? The list of potential factors that could have contributed to your feeling of being in ‘flow’ and ready to take on the world are numerous and often slip by unnoticed. And yet if we bring those into conscious thought and can replicate them, it makes our chances of repeating these confident performances more likely.

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Where do you shine?

What are the precise circumstances where you are likely to feel confident? What is happening at the time? How are you dressed? What was happening in the hours directly before?

Where don’t you shine?

It is often just as telling to think about the circumstances where you are definitely less likely to create a winning performance.

I often need to travel for work. So, for me, not shining inevitably involves a hold-up on my journey meaning that I am stressing for a significant length of time before I even start my delivery. Once I skidded into a workshop that I was delivering at a very smart solicitors’ office in the City, about 5 minutes after it was supposed to have started. Even though I had left plenty of time for my journey, my train had been stopped for over an hour on the way to London, then my taxi got snarled in traffic, meaning that I arrived with my stress systems out of control! Now, if there is any chance of this happening again, I make sure I stay down the night before so that I can be calm and collected on arrival. It doesn’t always work, but it definitely helps to stack the odds in my favour.

For extra confidence points I wash my hair that morning (nothing beats the feeling of clean hair!), and wear clothes that make me feel good and are easy to move around in. High heels most definitely don’t work in my line of work! Most importantly, I ensure that I know my stuff and have thoroughly prepared, particularly if there is tech involved. Sounds bizarre, but I need to be wearing my favourite perfume. So much so, that I have a small bottle in my car and handbag so that can’t be caught out.